The One Sentence That Gets You an Agent (Or Gets You Rejected)

Hi Reader,

I hope you're having a lovely April! As for me, I finally did it. I sent out my first round of queries for my revised novel. Eek.

Along with revising my manuscript, I also took another look at my query letter and decided to do some revising...

If there’s been one big thing that has changed in query letters since I was working as an agent, I’d say it is the all-important one-sentence pitch. Think “elevator pitch” or logline. Not only is it expected to be front-and-center in a query letter, but many agents are even asking for this singular line on its own in their QueryManager forms.

Literary agents are busy people. They receive hundreds of submissions in the months or weeks or days they are open to queries, and they do not get paid to read queries. Some have assistants who are wading through their slush piles, but many don’t. So instead of spending 30 minutes reading one submission, they are trained to make snap decisions about whether they want to read more or not. And that’s based on a few questions they are asking: Can I sell this? Does it fit on my list? And, do I love this?

The most important question of these three, of course, is Can I sell this. Why? Because publishing is a business and agents do not get paid for their time until they sell the book. So it does not behoove them to work on things they cannot sell. No matter how much they love it. That’s where the one-sentence pitch comes in.

What is a one-sentence pitch?

A one-sentence pitch, just as it sounds, is a tight, sentence-length hook that describes what your book is about. It’s a bite-size summary of both the kind of experience your reader will have when they pick up your book, and a temperature gauge for whether there is a market for your book. It sends an immediate signal to an agent or editor about the book’s market potential. It’s purpose is to intrigue, to hook someone instantly to read more.

You see these all over X (formerly Twitter) for pitch contests, as well as when deals are posted in Publishers Marketplace, and if you want to have a good shot at catching an agents attention, this is one of the most important pieces of your query that you’ll want to get right.

How do you craft a one-sentence pitch?

Some pitches rely heavily on comp titles or the author, but for those that don’t, the simplest answer to this question is: character, situation, conflict/obstacles, and stakes. I pulled a few of the most recent deals from Publishers Marketplace—specifically debut fiction deals—to give you a sense of what these pitches look like today. I'm breaking each of them down below to show what makes them work.

Hannah Rutherford's THEY WERE NEVER HERE, following a woman meeting her boyfriend's family for the first time at their vineyard, only to learn of the dark history of women disappearing on their grounds.

Character and situation: A woman meeting her boyfriend’s family for the first time; obstacles/conflict: she learns about the dark history of women disappearing on their grounds; stakes (implied): her life? We are immediately asking questions: What will she do? Why are women disappearing on this vineyard? This simple situation—full of conflict and stakes gets us wanting to read more.

Screenwriter Brett Ryland's OUR WHOLE LIVES BEHIND US, the story of a grieving widower working for a time travel tourism agency who uses his employee discount to travel back repeatedly to his first date with his late wife and then, one day, he goes back and she isn't there.

Character: A grieving widower who works at a time travel tourism agency; situation: he keeps using is employee discount to visit his first date with his late wife. Conflict/inciting incident: One day she’s not there; stakes (hinted): her life? His life? His job? His identity and heart? Either way, the same thing happens here: our brain starts asking questions.

Derrill McDavid's THE SECRET OF THE EMERALD ISLE, a dual-timeline mystery about an American scholar traveling through Ireland who finds herself pulled into a dangerous race to find a lost medieval manuscript alongside the man who broke her heart, weaving together Irish mythology, biblical legends, and an account of Lady Gregory, a foundational figure of the Irish Literary Renaissance.

Character: American scholar traveling through Ireland; Conflict/inciting incident: She’s pulled into a “dangerous” race to find a lost medieval manuscript. Plus she’s doing it with a man who broke her heart. Stakes (implied): the words “race,” “dangerous,” and “man who broke her heart” signal that she has a lot to lose, like her life and her heart. Vibes: The rest of the pitch about the story weaving in Irish myth, etc. highlights what I call the vibes of the story, because it signals to readers what kind of elements they will find in the book. The story must be there, first and foremost, but vibes can also do a lot to help pitch your book.

Molly Quick's THE FORTUNE LAKE RUN CLUB SOLVES A MURDER, pitched as for fans of THE THURSDAY MURDER CLUB and Only Murders in the Building, about a woman who joins a run club, but after witnessing something suspicious, the intergenerational group may soon find themselves pacing through more than just mile markers.

Character and situation: A woman joins a run club; inciting incident/conflict: she witnesses something suspicious; stakes: they are pacing through more than just mile markers (aka something dangerous.) This one relies a lot on the comps to conjure a picture of what kind of vibes the story will have. We know from the tight wording that we will get intergenerational crime solving, plus probably a touch of humor. And since these comps are currently performing well in the market, we know that it’s something that people enjoy and might want more of. What makes it different: the run club element.

Abigail Abbas's THE DRIVER'S SEAT, pitched as MARGO'S GOT MONEY TROUBLES meets Knives Out, in which a new mother flees London and a lousy husband, baby in tow, and lands a job as a chauffeur for a mysterious marchioness at a remote Scottish castle where many secrets lurk below the surface.

Character: A new mother, baby in tow, who is fleeing London; Inciting incident: lands a job as a chauffer; Conflict/obstacles: mysterious marchioness, remote Scottish castle, secrets. Stakes (implied): danger to this mom and her new baby. This one also relies heavily on comps to communicate the book’s vibes. From those comps, we know we will get something quirky, women’s fiction-y, maybe a little funny, and a murder mystery. Sounds like a lot of fun to me!

Megan Daniels's TIME SICK, a speculative mystery with a romantic twist, in which one woman travels forward five years in time to solve her own murder, only to find herself falling in love with her future self's husband—pitched as THE UNMAKING OF JUNE FARROW meets WRONG PLACE WRONG TIME.

We’ve got at least two time-travel stories that landed within the last two weeks for debut writers, interesting! Character: A murdered woman; Inciting incident: She travels five years into the future to solve her own murder; Conflict/obstacles: falling in love with her future self’s husband. Stakes (implied): Her life and heart and future self. We have the comps again here, which provide the vibes and hint at the reading experience.

Do you have a juicy inciting incident, like Brett Ryland’s? A very cool mashup of comps (MARGOT’s GOT MONEY TROUBLES x KNIVES OUT)? High stakes? A killer dilemma your protagonist must muddle through? Do you have vibes, like the Irish mythology book above? If so, consider approaching your pitch from one of these angles.

However, at the bare minimum, especially if you’re a debut author, you must include your character and the central conflict. These are the fundamental pieces of a story, and your pitch should show that you have a story on your hand.

Want a template for crafting your one-sentence pitch? Here are a few you can use, depending on your genre.

When (inciting incident disrupts character’s life), (character) must (bold/active verb phrase)—or risk (stakes with emotional punch).

When (character) discovers (inciting incident), they must (overcome obstacle) or risk (stakes)—perfect for readers who love (Comp Title #1) and (Comp Title #2).

When (character) discovers (inciting incident), they must (overcome obstacle) or risk (stakes) in this (tone adjectives—e.g., “sun-soaked, second-chance, emotionally layered”)(genre).

(Comp Title #1) meets (Comp Title #2), in which (character) discovers/is forced to (inciting incident) they must (overcome obstacles) in order to (goal) before (deadline).

A couple of things to note: the key here is not just inserting basic, boring, language into these blanks; it’s about specific, vivid language that crystallizes your character’s story and situation. Think: “mysterious marchioness,” “Scottish castle;” “dark history;” “romantic twist;” “pacing through more than just mile markers.” These precisely chosen words add up to entice. To hint at a story worth reading.

Want a peek at mine? Here it is:

A contemporary second-chance romance in which a bookish Manhattan editor, her perfect-on-paper boyfriend, and her disgraced firefighter first love are forced together on a Mediterranean wedding cruise, where rekindled chemistry threatens her carefully curated life and his fragile PTSD recovery.

I went through many variations before I came upon this one, and I have the others as backup depending on the agent and their preferred genre. This may not be drool-worthy to some, but I feel like it’s a good representation of my story—the setup, the setting, the characters, the conflict, and the stakes. We will see whether I get any nibbles (wish me luck!).

One final thought before I leave you: If you’re only at the drafting phase of writing, I think you should take a stab at writing one of these. Not just from a marketing perspective, but because forcing yourself to boil down your story to a single sentence is a sure-fire, quick way to see whether you might have some holes or areas for improvement. Give it a try! I’d love to see what you come up with!

Just to recap, here are my main three takeaways: pitch the character, inciting incident, conflict, and stakes; use vivid, specific language; and give this a try whether you’re querying yet or not!

Good luck!

---

Summer Story Studio

I'm wrapping up my quarterly small group coaching session this month and planning my dates for the next round. If you're looking for accountability, coaching, forward momentum, craft lessons, and community, consider joining us!

How does it work?​
For 12-14 weeks, I host 4-5 writing sprints on Zoom a week, and lead bi-weekly meetings (rotating between a craft lesson and hot-seat coaching session in which participants share pages they'd like direct feedback on.)

Here's a sample schedule from this week:

Monday: Writing Sprint 5:30am PT/8:30am ET
Tuesday: Hot Seat Coaching 10am PT/1pm ET
Wednesday: Writing Sprint 5:30am PT/8:30am ET
Thursday: Writing Sprint 12pm PT/3pm ET
Friday: Writing Sprint 11am PT/2pm ET

Of course I work with my writers across time zones to find sprint times that they can attend.

How much does it cost?
​I'm proud to offer this 14-week session at a low rate of $97

What are the dates for the next session?
​I'm looking at Monday May 4th through Friday August 7th, 2026, with some lighter weeks around holidays and vacations.

---

Offerings

Thanks so much for being here with me. I value you and I sincerely hope that I provide value for your writing journey. If you feel inclined, drop me a line and let me know what you’re working on!

Happy Writing,

Karyn

P.S. Loving these emails? Buy me a cup of tea to say thanks. Or you can book a free 30-min story strategy chat here if you're interested in getting specific help with your book.

Granite Bay, CA
​Unsubscribe · Preferences​