From Agent Rejections to Roller Coasters: A Writer’s Reality Check

Hi Reader,

Greetings! It’s been awhile since I last wrote to you all. If you’re new here, welcome! I’m Karyn Fischer, book coach, editor, and former literary agent bringing you craft and motivational tips, plus occasional publishing industry insight.

This summer, between being a snack-slinger, referee, coach and editor, I’ve been taking some time and distance to do some thinking. Thinking about what shape I want this newsletter to take, what kind of value I want to offer you, and where my heart lies (more on that in a bit). And I’ve been thinking a lot about my journey as a querying writer and the ups and downs of these big dream.

And I think it’s impossible to talk about all that without exploring something else: disappointment.

Last week, both my kids had their birthdays. My daughter turned 8 and my son turned 6, and we celebrated by taking them to Disneyland. On our last day, my son’s birthday, we were having a great time. Kids were giggling, enjoying the rides, and the weather wasn’t too ridiculously hot for July in Southern California.

Then, around three o’clock, my son started complaining of a stomachache. Sure enough, he upchucked in the middle of the walkway on our way to Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blasters.

There he was on his birthday at the Happiest Place on Earth and he was miserable. This was not how he wanted the day to go. We took him to the infirmary, let him rest, and tried to see if he would rebound. He did not. So the four of us headed back to our homebase.

Talk about disappointing, right? Poor guy. But it was also disappointing for us parents. For my daughter. Probably for the Disney employees who had to clean up after us.

No one likes disappointment. Disappointment sucks. And yet it’s a part of life.

And it’s definitely a part of the road to being an author.

Right as my son was getting sick, an email pinged in my inbox from an agent who had, days before, requested a full of my manuscript. She rejected me. Earlier in the week, I received a painful rejection on another full with some difficult feedback to process.

Obviously this was disappointing. If you’re a querying writer, you probably know how it feels to get rejections. It’s essential to have a pretty thick skin in the face of querying and being on submission.

The question is, what do you do in the face of disappointment? What do you do when the rejections roll in or when your book isn’t coming out onto the page the way you imagined it? What do you do when you receive disappointing, difficult feedback? Or when readers don’t love this thing that you’ve spent months or years creating?

How do we make sense of, and move past disappointment? How do we process the feelings that make us want to throw in the towel or bury our heads beneath our comforters only to emerge days later once the tender bruise on our ego has healed a bit?

The first thing is to just acknowledge the feeling of disappointment. It’s okay, and totally valid to feel disappointed. But then it’s time to accept it and make a plan to move forward.

That doesn’t mean let disappointment turn to resentment and bitterness. Good lord do not let that happen. That’s not going to make your dreams come true, and it’s certainly not going get you back to the page.

Instead, as you and I muddle through disappointments, we must remember these two things:

1. Giving up on a dream because of disappointments won’t serve us.

2. Disappointment happens when our expectations don’t match reality.

As I said before, disappointments are part of life, and they’re certainly part of the writing journey. If we quit just because we suffer a setback, then we can’t grow, can’t do the work to actually move forward on our path toward being an author. Giving up will not serve us. Throwing a pity party will not serve us. What if we are just one more yes away from reaching that next milestone? What if we take the tough feedback and put in the work to make our manuscripts shine? What if the next agent or editor is waiting right around the corner and Lady Luck is ready to get on your side? You’ll never know if you quit. Instead of throwing in the towel, what next steps can you take?

For me the answer to this question means waiting to see what the other agents who have fulls or partials of my manuscript say, and then in a few months maybe taking another good hard look at my manuscript. In the meantime, I’m going to keep moving forward on my current WIP so I move forward as a writer. What is your plan?

Second, maybe we need to reframe our expectations. I can’t tell you how many writers I’ve worked with jauntily enter the query game too early, and get knocked on their butts, devastated because they expected to get full requests. Maybe they did everything right—polished their manuscript after getting quality feedback; drafted a killer query letter; researched the perfect agents for the work, etc.—but still just aren’t getting traction and are shocked when rejections pour in. It’s a hard boat to be in, no bones about it, but I think that if they managed expectations ahead of time, the disappointment wouldn’t sting as bad.

Our expectations rarely match our reality. And in the querying process it’s better to go into the game with clear eyes and an understanding of what you’re up against. (Hint: it’s a super competitive game to get into.) As a former agent, I know how tough it is firsthand, which has, until this point, made those (20+) rejections roll right off me with minimal damage. Now, I know that a full request definitely does not translate directly to an offer of representation, but perhaps I could have managed my expectations surrounding this part of the process better, reminding myself of that fact. So keep your eyes open to the realities of this writing life. Not everyone will love your book. And even if you do get a publishing offer, it may not be the six-figure deal you expect. (In fact, it probably won’t.)

Sometimes you get sick when you’re on vacation and you have to pivot. You have to do the sucky thing and go rest and recover. Even if it’s your birthday and you’re at Disneyland. Because trying to control the outcomes of everything so that your reality matches your expectations might just make things worse.

So temper your expectations while remaining hopeful.

And then make that new plan when things don’t go as you expect. Be nimble, be adaptable, be open to changes and the unexpected.

Most importantly, get back to the page.

Updates!

Well, that’s all I have for you this time, folks. But, as I mentioned above, I’m making some changes to my offerings and to my newsletter going forward. As for the content of the newsletters, you can expect more of the same from me: craft tips, motivational & writer’s life content, and publishing insight.

You can expect to hear from me roughly every other week, sometimes more if I have a time-sensitive information to communicate (webinar announcements, etc.).

Speaking of webinars, my goal is to have quarterly free trainings for you, because I really love teaching writers different craft elements. So if you want to hang around for that, I promise you’ll get something out of it.

As for my offerings, I’ll probably send out an additional menu of services kind of email once I nail those down, but here’s roughly what I’m thinking:

Developmental Edits: I’ll only be taking on one of these per quarter

Revision Confidence Workshop: Next one will be starting mid-late September

Group Coaching (New-ish!): I’ve been really enjoying my Summer Story Studio small group, in which we do writing sprints, and bi-weekly trainings and hot-seat coaching for a low quarterly rate. I’d love to roll this into the fall as well, so stay tuned for more information.

First chapter evaluations: Quick, simple feedback on your first 10 pages.

And that’s it for now! My goal is to simplify my offerings, and my newsletter, so that I can focus on doing the things I love (writing, teaching writing, connecting with authors, and providing clarity on the traditional publishing process.) while serving you to the best of my abilities.

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Thanks so much for being here with me. I value you and I sincerely hope that I provide value for your writing journey. If you feel inclined, drop me a line and let me know what you’re working on!

Happy Writing,

Karyn

P.S. Loving these emails? Buy me a cup of tea to say thanks. Or you can book a free 30-min story strategy chat here if you're interested in getting specific help with your book.

Granite Bay, CA
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