Happy September! I’m not sure where you are, but here in Northern California it is slowly starting to feel more like fall. And when fall hits, I immediately feel a craving to watch You’ve Got Mail, one of those movies that just feels like fall to me. Bouquets of sharpened pencils and New York in the fall…sigh. I love it.
So much so, that when I was devising a talk about scenes for my small-group coaching program, I decided to use one of the fabulous scenes from the movie to illustrate how to craft more meaningful scenes.
And it’s some of the information from that talk that I want to share with you today. Because sure, you can understand the basics of story (character, desire, obstacles, stakes) but unless you know how to write scenes that grab readers by the hands and pull them all the way through and on to the next, then, well, your story might not feel interesting enough to keep reading.
I think that one of the best ways to learn is to pull apart pieces of what is working in the media that you love. So without further ado, give this scene a watch and then let’s talk about scenes. Fast-forward to the 32:40 min mark, and watch through about 38:00.
Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail
Before we get into what makes this a successful scene, let’s first talk about what exactly I mean when I use the word “scene.”
What is a scene?
Scenes are the building blocks of story—units of writing in which we watch something meaningful unfold in real time. Scenes usually take place in one location and are a contained story with a beginning, middle and end. The two key words in this definition are real time and meaningful. Because, as you’ll see in my scene ingredients below, things must happen (action) that the pushes the character to react. That is how the story moves forward. So it must matter to the character and push them forward on their journey of transformation, and it must be something the reader is actively watching unfold.
Ingredients of a scene:
1. Setting:
A scene usually takes place in a single setting. If they change settings, it’s a new scene. Your setting should be memorable, and allow your characters to interact with it. Set your scenes in places where they can use all the furniture in the room. A great setting will also help convey mood and tone. Think of the way a character snooping through a pristine rich old man’s study might add a sense of foreboding to your scene. Or how a walk on a beach at sunset, complete with the sun sparkling on the water’s surface might set the mood for romance. Great scenes have settings that help push your character forward or backwards on their journey of transformation.
So in the scene in You’ve Got Mail, what is the setting? It’s a book industry party in someone’s apartment. You see books on the walls, there are people milling about with drinks and plates of food, there’s a bar and a buffet table full of fine food. People are dressed in business casual attire.
And how did Ephron and the director “use all the furniture in the room” and have the characters interact with their setting? Think about the pointed way Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) scoops up the caviar garnish that Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) scolds him for taking. Or the way Kathleen holds the knife toward Joe after he insults her. Or the way, before all the tension occurs, they meet at the bar though Joe is trying to avoid Kathleen. The characters are interacting with their setting. It’s not just a backdrop, it’s part of what pushes them to make the choices they make, it increases tension, and it adds to the mood and tone of the whole scene.
How can your characters better interact with their settings?
2. Motivation:
Your character(s) must have an immediate goal in every scene. They must be trying to do, or achieve something. Maybe they want to get out of a work problem, or they want to avoid a confrontation. Maybe they are looking for evidence, or are trying to determine whether this person they have a crush on is worthwhile. It could be a million different things. But you must pick something.
For Joe Fox in this You’ve Got Mail scene, his goal is, first, to avoid Kathleen. He sees her come in, knows that she will discover who he is (giant big-box bookstore owner that’s moving in right by her small indie children’s bookstore), and he doesn’t want that conflict. So, his main scene goal is avoidance. Avoidance of conflict is what’s motivating him. Now, that does change, particularly as he’s thwarted in his goal (which is another key piece of scenes that I’ll talk about in a second), but he begins with a goal that supports his *big* goal (to prioritize the success of his business). Avoiding Kathleen will keep any conflict surrounding his business from arising.
Scene-building key: Using the previous scene(s) as a springboard to determine your character’s goal. If they made a decision, or discovery, or had a conflict with someone, what they want in this scene will be derived from that event. Example: Joe’s goal of avoiding Kathleen stems from the previous scene in which he visits her store with his aunt and brother and tries to hide his identity from her. He probably wants to avoid the confrontation and awkwardness that would surely arise if she knew who he really was.
3. Conflict/Tension:
A scene without a conflict or tension of some kind is, most likely, boring. In order for readers to feel engaged in the story, eager to know what will happen next, your scenes must have tension. What do I mean by tension? Obstacles that stand in the way of your character achieving their scene-goal. You know that old bit of cliché writing advice “torture your characters?” Well this is that advice put into practice. You want to have internal and external opposition in your scenes. Something that makes your character struggle as they work toward their internal goal, and something that makes them struggle as they try to achieve their external scene-goal.
Let’s look at how conflict arises in my You’ve Got Mail Scene. First, remember, Joe is trying to avoid Kathleen. Then she recognizes him at the bar (obstacle 1). He is friendly and kind enough, if a little dismissive, and then excuses himself. The next obstacle that thwarts him is when the unnamed man goes to Kathleen and says “I cannot believe you were speaking to Joe Fox,” outing Joe’s identity to Kathleen (obstacle 2). From there, Kathleen confronts Joe at the food table (obstacle 3). She accuses him of spying on her and insults his business. And things escalate from there. Here, his goal changes from avoidance, to defending his business, cementing them as rivals.
None of this would happen without conflict pushing him to respond. None of this would happen if we didn’t know what Kathleen wants (to stay in business) and know how Joe’s business threatens her goal directly. Conflict, in other words, make scenes interesting, and push the story forward (ie push your characters to act and change).
4. Action
Speaking of pushing your characters to act, action is a key scene ingredient. Remember above when I said that a scene is when we watch something unfold in real time? What that means is that something is happening. Action doesn’t have to be car chases and explosions and sex and murder. It certainly can mean all those things if that’s the kind of book you’re reading. But it can also mean two characters talking. It can mean a date or a group project at work. It can mean an argument or someone sneaking around. Characters are interacting with their surroundings, in other words. They are interacting with other people, perhaps, or not. Think of The Martian by Andy Weir, and his trapped solo character trying to grow potatoes on Mars. Or Tom Hank’s character in Castaway trying to make fire. Even if your character is alone, they can (and should!) be doing something.
So what is the action in the You’ve Got Mail scene? It’s the dialogue between Kathleen and Joe. It’s him insulting her and her him, and her trying to scoop the stolen caviar garnish off his plate and put it back on the table. It’s them moving through the party interacting.
5. Change/Meaning
One of the final things to consider as you sit down to write your scene is: What will change as a result of this scene? Will they decide to call the interesting stranger they met? Will they find a way to steal the treasure they desperately want when they find out it won’t be given freely to them? Will they discover an affair or a family secret that makes them question everything they knew about their life? All great scenes are a shift for your character. Do they learn, lose, gain, choose something? Or is there a shift in knowledge or understanding? A shift in circumstances, worldview, or relationship? Changes can be subtle or overt, but they must be there.
And your character must make meaning of that change. You must show us (through interiority or dialogue) what this shift means to them. Put their thoughts and feelings directly down on the page when this thing happens. Why do they care? Why should the reader? Show us what this change means to your character.
What change happens for Kathleen Kelly and Joe Fox during this scene? Well, as I mentioned above, it’s a moment that Kathleen learns Joe’s identity as her rival. It also cements them as heated rivals—people who do not see eye to eye and aren’t exactly treating each other with kindness (which of course increases the stakes surrounding their growing attraction to their anonymous pen pal; we know they are writing to each other with kindness and affection, but in-person they dislike one another.) So, in essence, this scene raises the stakes for the characters and their love story.
What meaning do they make of this scene? How do the characters feel about this encounter? Well, that night after the party, Joe writes to Shopgirl (his anonymous pen pal, aka Kathleen Kelly) expressing his regret over his behavior and the things he said. Kathleen Kelly responds that she wishes that she were able to stand up for herself more. So, both characters took something away from the scene, and the viewer has a clear understanding about what has changed for them and the story.
6. Secret Sauce
Here’s the big kahuna of information. The one thing I want you to take away more than anything else I’ve written here. Each individual scene matters, but the secret sauce to a book that rocks readers’ souls is how the scenes build one upon the other.
Think of You’ve Got Mail. A few scenes before this industry party scene, we watch as Joe goes into Kathleen Kelly’s store. We watch how she makes him feel “enchanted” with her passion for children’s books. We watch as he desperately tries to avoid her discovering who he is. So, later, when we come to the party scene, the tension is already high and we understand exactly why he doesn’t want her to know who he is. And we’ve also seen her devastation surrounding the new bookstore moving in just around the corner. Without the scenes prior, this party scene would not be quite as successful. Likewise with the scenes that come after—without this key scene cementing them as unfriendly rivals, none of their fights, or their anonymous email exchanges would hold much weight. Each scene builds upon the last, and matters to the story as a whole.
So the key is in linking them together like a chain. If one link (scene) breaks, then the chain loses its strength. That’s how your scenes should work together, each leading to the next, and adding something new. This is also establishing a cause-and-effect trajectory, which is a fundamental piece of narrative drive. This is how you keep readers reading, as they are pulled along that chain of scenes.
That’s all I have for you this week, but next time I hope to show you how to lay out your scene using scene beats. If you ever come to the page feeling like “Okay, what has to happen here? Where am I going? I don't know what to write,” then you’ll want to tune in.
Offerings
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✨Your monthly momentum bites✨ Journal prompts to get you thinking and writing
👤Character👤
What is you character's go-to response during a conflict? Flight, fight, or freeze? What brings them comfort when things don't go their way?
💖Mindset💖
Don't compare your first (or even second) draft to published books. Remember, they've been professionally edited multiple times and all started as a crappy first draft.
🎨Take action🎨
Using Story Grid's 5 Commandments of Story (above) try mapping out the five main beats of your whole book.
Thanks so much for being here with me. I value you and I sincerely hope that I provide value for your writing journey. If you feel inclined, drop me a line and let me know what you’re working on!